a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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