some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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