So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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