maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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