they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
