this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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