you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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