There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
