shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
