my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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