I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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