dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
