Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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