doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
