It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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