how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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