problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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