YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize