it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
