dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
