worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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