So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize