Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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