Too much gin, very little bucket
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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