so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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