I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize