So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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