If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
