hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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