well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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