its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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