? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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