Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
