I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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