after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
