There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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