Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
