I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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