Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
of course. lets lasso hookers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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