Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize