Welp...herpes.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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