how can u be prego again
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
