separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize