he thought i was a dude.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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