Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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