he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
