We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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