She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
