dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize