his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize