in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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