is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize