Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
