i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
