i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
