Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
be right there i have to get my cape
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Damn victory sex feels great
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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