yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
