It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You can't just leave with hair like that
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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